Volatile Relationships in Pride and Prejudice and You’ve Got Mail
In the novel Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, recognizable aspects of a stereotypical heterosexual relationship are immortalized in such a way that readers can easily compare them to modern day texts. The relationship of Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy matches almost point to point with that of Kathleen Kelly and Joe Fox in the film You’ve Got Mail directed by Nora Ephron. Both pairs are divided by status in which the male is more powerful, both couples develop their attraction to one another through volatile actions and passionate fights, and lastly both females are attracted to the perversity and hypermasculinity of the male’s nature. The consistency of these characteristics of romantic relationships lasting over 200 years reflects the inability of society to progress.
In Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy are grouped together by nature of class; however, there is a great distinction in which Darcy is much more powerful and far wealthier than the Bennett family. In You’ve Got Mail, Kathleen and Joe are both in the book selling business as Kathleen is a small shop owner and Joe owns a major corporation Fox Books. Similar to Elizabeth and Darcy, they are grouped together in some way, but there is an obvious distinction in their place. In both texts even though 200 years apart, the reader can recognize the societal norm of the male being in control. Although in both occasions we see a more nuanced female, as Kathleen owns her own business and Elizabeth holds no shame in her wit, there is no denying the male’s continued power. By taking a text, such as Pride and Prejudice that was written in a time period where gender roles were believed to be more strict, and finding it to be very similar with a modern text like You’ve Got Mail, the inferior positioning of the female has persisted.
In regards to the basis of their relationships, both pairs start off with a distorted opinion of the other. Elizabeth forms her opinion based on the wrongdoings Wickham dishonestly tells her Darcy has done; Kathleen’s main opinion is formed by the fact Joe is opening Fox Books on the same street as her book store, which ultimately leads to her going out of business. They both are extremely proud characters and are unable to view the true nature of these two male characters, after they have formed what they each believe to be the only opinion. Their intense disdain for each other causes both pairs to have a reaction of excitement each time they meet. Throughout their meetings both couples end up in spats of passion whether it’s through Darcy’s first marriage proposal when Elizabeth attacks his prideful nature or when Katheleen tells Joe “he is nothing but a suit” that only cares about money. Every meeting the pairs have is filled with angry passion, which ultimately leads to their attraction. This phenomenon can be explained by theories in psychology which propose that situations that cause a person to have high adrenaline, cause them to release oxytocin; it is also released when falling in love with someone. Therefore, the oxytocin released in these couples’ passionate interactions causes them to mistake their disagreements for a connection.
Both of these texts perpetuate gender constructs within a romantic relationship, in which the male dominates his female. In both of these texts, the story seems to make perfect sense: boy and girl meet and fall in love. However, in both cases the men are extremely abusive to the women in some shape or form. In the case of Mr. Darcy, he consistently makes his disdain towards her family and her “inferior birth” known: Darcy always reminds Elizabeth of her faults, even when proposing he tells her it is against his better judgement. In regards to Joe Fox, he deeply hates Kathleen Kelly because she attacks him and Fox books on the news, painting them to be a cheap supply store: every time Joe sees Kathleen he reminds her that his superstore will cause her small inconsequential bookshop to close. In many romance texts, the male is often aggressive and sometimes plain mean towards the female, yet their attraction only deepens. Reasons for this could spout from society’s nature to connect aggressive actions with masculinity and these female heroines are searching for a male who fits the stereotypical mold. This structure that we will continue to see in the media and texts, however, will cause further strain on our ideas of the ‘proper’ romantic relationship, perpetuating unhealthy ones.
The novel Pride and Prejudice fits the mold of the perfect heterosexual love story that can be compared to so many modern texts, including You’ve Got Mail. By comparing these texts, especially when being able to match them point to point, it illuminates the major issues society faces in progressing it’s views on gender roles and romantic relationships. Although written over 200 years apart, these texts prove that many toxic constructs could continue to be the ‘believed’ correct view due to the culture we consume. It should concern us that these norms have persisted with little to no changes for the future.
Sources:
Austen, Jane. Pride and Prejudice. New York: Modern Library, 1995. Print.
Ephron, Nora, et al. You've Got Mail. Warner Bros., 1998.